The Baytown Bulletin Board

I continue to receive angry emails and private messages from members concerning the recent bans and the arguments in the Religion forum. Please understand that this is a learning process and I am doing the best I can to make everyone happy. This is turning out to be a much more difficult task than I had expected. When ggeorge was banned permanently, the people cried out and called me unjust. Therefore, I let him come back and I revamped the rules. Then others got upset and started complaining and leaving, so I split the religion forum. I anticipate that there will be more complaining and I will continue to receive angry emails from both sides and I'll have to think of what to do next to keep the peace.

I started The Baytown Bulletin Board to be an alternative to The Sun’s Baytown Talk. But I wanted it to be so much more than a forum. I have added chat rooms, instant messenger, a large free game room, a shout box, a public calendar, and a multitude of other features and tweaks in order to make this the most fun, informative, and feature filled site I could imagine. It is supposed to be a place where Baytownians and even others from around the world can relax, visit, play, and generally have fun and enjoy themselves online. It is supposed to support a family mentality. Members should support each other, inform each other, and respect each other. This site is meant in part to bring our community together. Instead, I have created a place that generates hate and division. Moreover, I spend about $100 a month so that people can call me names and tell me what an unfair and hypocritical person I am. This adds unwanted and unnecessary stress to my life. And it all stems from adults resorting to name calling and other childish acts and then telling on each other. I constantly have to monitor the Religion forum in order to play judge and decide who is crossing the line. I fully understand now why the Baytown Sun shut down its forum.

If we cannot stick to civil discussion in the Religion forum, I feel like the next step is to remove it. I hope it does not come to this, but if this site’s reputation and atmosphere continues to roll downhill and members continue to leave, that is what is going to happen. I almost feel like I should remove it now and be done with it, and that waiting is just going to make things worse. I guess we’ll see.

Your comments are welcome but please do not name names, point fingers or resort to passive aggressive remarks.

Thank you.

Perhaps I am missing something. I have viewed (sometimes skimmed) the replies in the "view debate" section of the religion forum, and I really don't see anything "uncivil." Do you mean telling someone that what he/she has stated is not a fact and/or challenging evidence that is presented? I did not see any name calling, but I could have missed it. I think it was a good idea to split that forum. If someone gets offended when another poster calls him/her on certain statements, then perhaps that person should not respond in this section. After all, that is what debate is all about. "Religion" is a broad subject that encompasses many things, not just positive comments on Christianity. I'm really not sure what is acceptable and what is not on this board.

If you are going to try to be referee to a bunch of adults, you are certainly going to find that you have taken on a burdensome role. After being an instructor of adults for over 12 years, I don't think that our kid's teacher's may really have all that many problems.

I might have a couple of thoughts, which you might consider.

Don't try to be the referee, but only a moderator. The primary difference is, as referee, you are going to spend too much time trying to make everyone happy... and I suspect that you're likely a very nice person and really wish that were possible, but it just ain't gonna happen, no matter how hard you try. As a moderator, you do nothing more than insure that foul language, spam, and other similar things are removed/struck or modified and just let the rest run its' course.

I frequent numerous forums, much more active in some, than others... and it isn't just religion that will cause people to get into such "debates" and it is very sad that some just take things a little too personal, instead of debating their point and result to inflammatory comments. However, those are just individual personalities and there's nothing that you can do to change that. So, it's just one of those things we live with, in all areas of our life.

Will religion and politics be more likely to bring out such people? Yes, but no more than arguing 1st or 2nd amendment rights, illegal immigration, how to raise your brats... err... I mean darling children (after all, only other people's kids are brats, right?) and many other topics.

You have a very good concept with your forum (and I'm still somewhat new here) and I don't think you should let the few that choose to take things personally dictate how you run the board, who YOU ban (leave that at spammers) and who YOU allow. Just sit back and watch the soap operas play out and enjoy the show... it's a whole lot less stressful.

Yes... I sometimes start to jump in and then think... naw, I'll just watch this one, for now.

Not to make anyone mad, but in my opinion, if you are one of those complaining about who is allowed or not allowed, then what are you doing in the U.S.A? We all have equal rights! Grow up or Get out!

oops... I probably just started a new one, by expressing my first amendment rights.

Anyway... just my 2-cents... or is that sense?
Jim

The posts that violate the rules are always deleted from the forum, so you won't find them after the fact.

No, I do not consider telling someone that what they have stated is not a fact or challenging evidence as being uncivil. Those are integral parts of an argument. I consider such things as calling another member an "old lunatic" or cursing at each other to be uncivil. Both of these cases have happened recently.

If you are not sure what is and isn't acceptable on this board, please refer to the Posting Rules and Guidelines. They can always be found at the top of the forums on the home page.

The problem is some members try to see just how far they can push the line without crossing it. They make insuations and they do their best to insult others without actually coming right out and saying it.

I do my best to enjoy the site. But when members start leaving, including some of my own friends who have been with me since I started this site, it gets hard to relax and enjoy the site. When I get nasty emails and personal messages from members who feel that I am mistreating them, it gets hard to relax and enjoy the site.

Thanks for the advice, txna. I AM listening and I'll try not to stress out so much. I appreciate your support.

By the way, a member of our forum recently accused me of believing that rape victims, children who are sexually abused or bullied, and battered wives are all at fault for their horrible experiences. Because of how I handled a situation on this board, I am now being accused of being an insesitive, unsympathetic monster. I didn't sign up for this when I created this site.

Well, that's part of the fun and excitement. I kind of see it as an artistic form of expression, yet maintaining the civility of staying on the "politically correct" side.

Well, it's too bad that some of your friends might leave. If they're your friends, I would certainly hope they wouldn't expect you to ban someone because they didn't like their viewpoint. However, if you are going to make it a public forum, then they should understand that everyone isn't going to see things their way. That can only be accomplished by turning it into a private forum open to only those that have the same views on things. Then it wouldn't be as much fun, nor would there be as much activity, since everyone already thinks the same way and wouldn't have much to really talk about.

I've seen a lot of accusations from people on both sides. If anyone wishes to send me a nasty message because you don't agree with me or feel I've been rude, feel free to do so. I may take one of two actions. 1.) I'll respond with my own statements of justification for my own words/actions, and you may or may not like the response. But, it's my personal right to do so, so it doesn't matter anyway. 2.) I may mark it as "spam" and send it to the trash bin. In which case, I hope you feel better getting things off your chest, but it's not likely to make a difference. So, you may want to make your comments on the public forum, unless you're afraid that others might think you're the unreasonable one.

I often wonder about such people. Are these the same ones that always tattled to the teacher? Are they the ones that got a "U" in "Getting along with others".

Hang in there Dorian... just remember, Sticks and Stones... the rest are just words.